its been 7 years

welcome guys

if you have been following my journey you would know that it has been 7 years since we started our TTC journey, i never ever would of thought i would be in this situation. after our youngest daughter was born we decided to try right away for another baby, we knew it might take awhile as it had taken 2 years just to conceive her.

i was diagnosed with secondary infertility problems back in 2015, they didn't know exactly know what the problem was so they just gave a diagnosis. well fast forward to 2020 and here i am with endometriosis stage 4, so on top of that being diabetic my chances of conceiving are 10 - 15 % due to the ENDO aging my reproductive system and then it don't make it any better that i just turned 40 last month.

hearing everything was very overwhelming and very heartbreaking. in 2017 we managed to get pregnant and carried a beautiful baby boy but when i was 12 weeks we miscarried, as you can imagine it was very heart breaking and to make things worst we had been trying for over 4 years at that time.

we still haven't been able to get pregnant and its very stressful and heart breaking, a lot of people always say just be blessed with what you have, and if you know us you also know we are more than blessed, but what some don't understand is that the heart knows what it wants and no matter how many times a day you try not to think about it you always sit there thinking about it or even crying.

there are so many couples out there who can't have kids and my heart truly breaks for them, the pain is unbearable. due to the fact that we already have kids we are expected to sit down and not talk about the difficulty of not being able to have kids as we already have. what some people don't know is a lot of large families struggle with infertility and they keep silence as that's how society wants us to be.

we are expected to sit in silence and suffer as we have kids and we should be grateful and stop being greedy in their eyes. what they don't know is that we hurt, we cry, we are devastated just as much, its hard to sit down and talk to anyone about the issues we face as we are always judged. one of the most questions that everyone ask's is. well you can't afford another child. well let me tell you, if you put a price on any of your children then maybe there is something wrong with you, for my child is not a price tag and they have never been short of anything.  if GOD brought you through it then GOD shall get you through it.

our family is just an average family, yes we struggle at times, we pinch budgets from here to there. we live off a lot of lists and budgets and we coupon and do things on a strict budget. yet while i sit here i can't say that they have ever missed out on anything, i think they have got to experience more than some other kids have. so its very hard to hear someone put a price tag on a child or even look at them that way.

we all live a very different life style from each other and that's how it was intended, so therefor we shouldn't judge one another for we choose to live our path and we should allow others to live there way.

i wanted to write this as an introduction again to this blog and its make over. i wanted to bring you on this journey with me that i am embarking to giving myself one last year to perhaps if GOD saw it fit to  bless us again.

while there are some treatments out there and i am getting a laparoscopy (not sure when yet) to reduce the pain that i go through, i wanted to ask you for your prayers on this journey and invite you to follow along with us.

i will be adding some videos on our channel and hoping it can help someone out there and not suffer in silent like i have.

if you have read this far i want to say thank you so much, it truly means a lot to me.

so until next time

stay blessed

blessings

Rose`